This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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