I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
