People in love make me want to vomit
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
