I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize