im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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