why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
