ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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