no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was like eating out sand paper
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
