okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
