you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
