My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
