i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
