I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize