you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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