I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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