Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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