he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
