I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
