this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
