Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
