....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
