OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
