Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do vagina's smell?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
