I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
