his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
the liver wants what the liver wants
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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