her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
