i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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