If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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