i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
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Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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