I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?