yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro