TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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