Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
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Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
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But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now