you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
