THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.