I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.