With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This is classic penis vs brain.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.