i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.