I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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