I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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