think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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