We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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