Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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