highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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