there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
