What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
