it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
