He asked to "fluff my boner.."
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
