grandma shit on top of the toilet
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
my poor anus
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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