I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She's the barista slut.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
