just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize