You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
