Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
