You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
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I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.