you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.