STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...