i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her