Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Watching her eat just hurts me
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
