I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize