Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Randomize
