You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
