wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
