the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
