Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize