You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
