kristin has been a bad kristin
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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