it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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